| Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant |
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Who was very rarely stable |
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Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar |
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Who could drink you under the table |
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David Hume could out-consume |
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And Wittgenstein was a beery swine |
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Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel |
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There's nothin' Nature didn't teach yer |
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'Bout the raisin' of the wrist |
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Socrates himself was permanently pissed |
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John Stuart Mill of his own free will |
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On a bottle o' shanty became particularly ill |
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Plato they say, could put it away |
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Half a pint of whiskey every day |
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Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle |
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Hobbes was fond of his dram |
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And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart |
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But Socrates himself is particularly missed |
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A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed |
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