| I read the news today oh boy |
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About a lucky man who made the grade |
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And though the news was rather sad |
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He blew his mind out in a car |
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He didn't notice that the lights had changed |
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A crowd of people stood and stared |
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They'd seen his face before |
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Nobody was really sure If he was from the House of Lords |
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I saw a film today oh boy |
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The English Army had just won the war |
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A crowd of people turned away |
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Woke up, fell out of bed, |
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Dragged a comb across my head |
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Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, |
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And looking up I notice I was late. |
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Found my coat and grabbed my hat |
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Made the bus in second flat |
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Found my way upstairs and had a smoke, |
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Somebody spoke and I went into a dream |
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I read the news today oh boy |
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Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire |
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And though the holes were rather small |
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They had to count them all |
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Now the know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall |
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